We're gone this weekend. Camping on island off the coast of New Brunswick, Canada. Listening to whales, hiking for hours, sitting around the fire, a tent site overlooking the ocean.

Or at least this is what I imagine it will be like as I write this the night before we leave.

I spent the better part of the day in the kitchen and this is the gluten-free Strawberry Muesli I prepared for our first morning. It's versatile for camp or home which why I'm linking to it from here. I dehydrated most of the strawberries from earlier this week for camp/trail food. This works especially well if fruit is past perfect, ie: too mushy to be enjoyed fresh as some of these rain soaked strawberries were.

In between the food I was preparing the kids made strawberry popsicles to put in the freezer; in the anticipation that next week might actually feel like summer. You know sun and warm weather days that require shorts and t-shirts not rain jackets and sweaters.

We visited 5 Orange Potatoes for popsicle inspiration. Check it out, Lisa and her Little Ladies share some great ideas for holiday weekend and summertime fun.

Speaking of summer or the lack thereof, the kids and I wrote this haiku this week while running errands. Writing poetry while driving is quite fun.

Summer, where art thou?
Sun hiding behind the clouds
Rain, rain go away.

And that folks sums it up. Here's wishing you all a wonderful holiday weekend with popsicle weather. I'm hoping some of that will come our way camping. Being wet at home in the rain is one thing, being wet at camp is another (my husband would say it's an adventure).

Yesterday we went strawberry picking at a local, organic and unadvertised farm. The day was misty and gray, sounds almost lovely until you realize we've had 21 days of rain in the month of June. But this is strawberry season - the time to pick, wash and freeze enough to last us through the winter. At least give it an honest attempt.

According to the Environmental Working Group: Shopper's Guide to Pesticides strawberries have the 6th worst ranking for pesticide load. Considering we eat a lot of smoothies throughout the year I am concerned about exposing my children to these toxins. So my goal is to pick at least 50 lbs of berries and freeze what I can.

I did really good last year. We used up our last bag a couple months ago. I was hoping to do the same or better this year but this rain is sure making it difficult. The berries are rotting and haven't had enough sun to sweeten them. Tart, moldy berries - not exactly what I was hoping for. Maybe next week's picking will be better.

Fresh Fruit Pie

Maybe you're finding good berries where you are? Or if you're south of Maine maybe peaches - oh yum! If you can get your hands on some fresh local fruit this is a great recipe to turn it into something special. I personally feel that in-season, farm grown fruit is special enough but sometimes you want to create a "real dessert" for a birthday or party.

This is the fruit pie I prepared for Damien's birthday/Father's day weekend earlier this month. And no, I didn't use local peaches or strawberries - neither were ready at the time but I did use Maine apples and our farm share rhubarb for the sauce. Hey, a little bit is better than none!

Crust

• 1 3/4 cup raw nuts (almonds, walnuts, cashews or pecans)
• 1/2 cup (approx. 12) sulfate-free dried apricots, or dates
• 1/2 cup quinoa flakes (or oatmeal)
• 1/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut (optional)
• dashes of cinnamon and or nutmeg

Grind all ingredients in food processor till they are small bits clumping together. Press into the bottom and sides of a 9 inch glass or ceramic pie dish.

Filling

• approx 1 1/2 cups of apple sauce, apple-rhubarb sauce or apricot sauce
Apricot sauce:
• 1 1/2 cups water
• 1 cup sulfate-free dried apricots
• 1/2 dried cranberries
• 1/4 apple juice
• 1 tbsp. lemon juice

Simmer the water, apricots and cranberries on low heat uncovered for about 20 minutes or until the apricots are plump and tender, stirring regularly to keep from sticking. Place water, apricots, cranberries and juices in a blender and blend till smooth and pudding like.

Topping

• fresh fruit sliced, approx 2-3 cups

Assembly
Prepare crust and filling ahead of time. Chill both. Do not pour the filling into the crust, keep in a separate container. Before serving slice fruit, pour filling into crust & spread evenly then top with sliced fruit.

Warning: this does not come out pretty. Try as I might I cannot get this to look attractive on individual plates, as soon as I remove the first piece the whole thing starts to fall apart. My family assures me that this defect in no way affects the taste. They all love it and everyone asks for seconds.

This was not what I had planned to write about. I've been working on a couple recipes, hopefully to post in time for the holiday weekend, have some food tips and photos of seasonal greens and well just other FIMBY miscellanea that I planned to post - starting yesterday.

But here I am... processing and recovering (not in a bad way) from the 24 hours our family spent in Massachusetts this weekend attending a home church "conference". Like all things associated with home church this was very informal - a huge family potluck really with time for sharing and encouraging each other, singing, prayer and swimming - you know all the good stuff.

I couldn't belief how many people showed up, last number I heard was 120. Thankfully the rain waited till the evening so we could spend the day outside. Although our gracious and generous hosts had a lovely huge home fitting us all inside would of been um... interesting.

But that's not really what I want to write about, that just explains how I got this book, Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust, into my hands, since it's not normally the kind of book I pick up at the library. Actually it was the night before the gathering when we were staying with perfect strangers (but fellow followers of Jesus Christ) that this book wound up in my hands. Then in my head and in my heart.

I would love to go into the hospitality of these strangers, Bill & Ann, and how very different their lives are from our own and yet how much, at the core level we have in common with them. But this is not the time for that story.

Today's story is about Immaculee Ilibagizia's story and what it is teaching me.

Maybe you've heard of her? The Rwandan Hutu woman that during the holocaust in that country 15 years ago hid with 7 other women for 91 days in a teeny bathroom.

I'm sure I've heard of her before because I recognized the story and this time I was prepared to read it. I've talked before how I avoid bad news stories because they are simply too heart breaking. Maybe it's because this story didn't directly involve small children, or maybe the timing was right but I felt like I could handle reading it.

The book belongs to our weekend hosts and I started it there and then brought it home and finished it last night, it's a fairly easy read. And the lesson it is teaching me is why I titled this post plucked up, spun around and set back down again. You know when that happens? You're going along, all hunky dory and then BAM! A life lesson comes your way when you least expect it.

Well this is where I am these last 2 days and this is what I am learning or re-learning:

Terrible, really terrible things, happen to people. Good people. People who do the right thing and work hard. And in the end it's not their ability to make the right choices or hard work that will carry them through the most trying of times, it is the relationship they have with God.

I am building a wonderful home life, feeding my family healthy home-grown and local foods, growing a garden, taking beautiful photos, trying to encourage people with my words and actions, loving my children & husband. And I could lose it all. Do you think the victims of holocausts, wars, famines and disease plan for these disasters to befall them??

And if I do lose it all - what then? What do I have to stand on? The only thing I will have is God.

And so while I'm nurturing everything else important in my life I better not neglect the one relationship that will carry me through anything. I just don't know when I'm going to be in real need and I pray the atrocities that happened to Immaculee NEVER happen in my life. But when and if I am in a place of dire circumstances I want to be standing firm on a relationship and not wobbling, trying to find my way in the darkness.

So the time to work on that relationship is NOW, not later once the kids are raised and the house is quiet. As a disciple of Jesus I am taking these words to heart (paraphrased) "what good is it for a mama to gain the perfect home life yet lose her soul?" Now, I'm fairly certain I'm not at risk of losing my soul but I don't ever want to be.

I want to be so firmly rooted in the truth that I don't lose my faith if I ever, God forbid, encounter hardships seemingly impossible to bear. Millions of people experienced that holocaust and others like it. None of us are immune to life's pain and sometimes deep suffering. If I ever lose all I hold dear I want to still be holding onto the knowledge (deep in my bones) of God's unfailing love for me. Love that sustains, love that heals, love that forgives, love that literally saves.

I want to stand firm in the things I know to be true - God's love, forgiveness and redemption. The only way I know to be solid in those is to study, meditate, dwell & live those truths.

What does this all mean? At the very basic level it means a slight re-adjustment of my priorities and again, appreciation and heartfelt gratitude for my blessings.

I know these thoughts may not resonate with everyone reading this post, that's ok. It's my blog and my space and I'm not afraid (ok, maybe just a little) to share what's really going on in my heart. I encourage you nonetheless to read Immaculee's book. It's a New York Times Bestseller and it couldn't have gotten there for no good reason. It's obviously shaken me up quite a bit and I think we all need a good shaking up from time to time.

Garden Rosemary Mint

A date is picked and a venue booked for my first soapmaking workshop. Wanna come?

Basic details:
Date: Thursday July 23, 2009
Time: 6:30-8:30pm
Location: St. Mary's Nutrition Center, 208 Bates Street, Lewiston, ME
Cost: $7.50 per person, pre-paid registration

More details:
At this workshop you will learn how to make soap from very basic ingredients, most of which you can buy at the grocery store. I will demonstrate the whole process and answer questions as I am able to do so (I've been making soap for 3 years).

Because the soap making process requires a certain amount of "waiting time" I will also teach participants how to make body lotion, once again with easily found ingredients.

What's up with the fee (since I usually share my knowledge freely)? The cost covers the facility rental fee and the supplies. Additionally each participant will go home with a bar of my homemade soap and a small bit of lotion.

Here's the deal though, participants must pre-pay for their registration and the workshop will only run if I have 10 paid participants by Monday, July 13th. I can't cover my costs and it's not worth my time for any less participants than that.

I want as many people to come to this as would like to though so there is a discount for families. More details when you e-mail to register.

To recap: Learn to make soap & lotion, get a bar of soap & have fun. July 23rd 6:30-8:30, $7.50

I realize most of you reading this blog don't live near enough to come to this. I may do a video of the workshop, not sure yet if I can figure out the logistics of that.

E-mail me to register. If for some reason that link doesn't work (I think I fixed the problem earlier today) please e-mail me at renee at tougas dot net.

Dear friends and readers. I have been remiss in checking my spam box. Apparently some of you have used the handy (& defective) contact me link on this site and never heard a word back from me. Well, that's because your messages were in my spam folder.

I have no idea how many people (hundreds - ha, ha!!) might of tried contacting me this way. My spam folder automatically clears out once a month.

I am seriously sorry if you sent me an e-mail that I never read or responded to. I love the exchange of ideas and getting to know people, I have not intentionally ignored anyone. If you send me an e-mail I will respond, eventually. So if you've contacted me and not heard from me ever your mail probably ended up in my spam - I apologize.

I've fixed the problem now, I should of set up the filter a long time ago but since I was getting some messages I assumed I was getting them all.

Please feel free to try again if you have a question that I never responded to.

If you ask a question that I think is a good candidate for a blog post it might take awhile to get around to answering in full but I will at the very least reply to your e-mail with an "affirmative, I got your e-mail, thanks" kind of message.

Ok. That's it. Have a great weekend and stay tuned for an exciting announcement.

laundry back on the line

We sometimes sing the Hank Williams song I Saw the Light in our home church gatherings.

I saw the light, I saw the light.
No more darkness; no more night.
Now I'm so happy no sorrow in sight.
Praise the Lord, I saw the light!

I love belting out this tune while our friend Bob strums his guitar and since yesterday morning it, and every other "sun" song I know have been in my head. (If you want a good chuckle - don't get me wrong I LOVE Johnny Cash but those 70's choir gown back up singers are a hoot - check out this video version of the song.)

Here's my photographic ode to I Saw the Light, Here Comes the Sun, Sunny Days and every other sun song known to man, because baby the sun has finally decided to shine!!

Maybe the sun decided to shine because I started the day wearing my new sunflower pendant handcrafted by Laurent.

Salvia

Baptisia: False Indigo not blooming

Foxglove

What sun songs are you singing these days?

Let me start off by saying you should never eat a wild plant that you can't positively identify. You could die or at the very least make yourself sick.

Sorrel (Rumex acetosella): flower stalk

Having that disclaimer out of the way I want to share some of the plants I learned about at a workshop the kids and I attended last week. On a rainy afternoon (imagine that) we walked to the community garden at the end of our street to learn about weeds we can eat. The class was offered by our local urban agriculture and community youth organization, Lots to Gardens. We love these folks and do our best to support what they are doing in our city; helping city dwellers have better access to garden grown foods and educating & empowering young people for change.

I know a little bit about weeds that are edible, ie: young plantain leaves can be eaten as a green, and my goal is to learn more about forest and mountain edibles; knowledge I can use on our hiking and backpacking treks. This particular class was focused more on "roadside, field and meadow" type weeds. Another warning: don't wildcraft from ditches or areas that use sprays - duh.

I have seen all of these at one time or another, mostly at the farm (I've picked them from the fields as weeds) and some in my own backyard. I've identified each with a photo, common name, latin name and a brief description.

Purslane

Purslane: Plantago Major

Purslane has slightly juicy leaves, tastes good. Leaves & stems edible. Harvest June through September.

Sorrel(s)

Sorrel Dock: Rumex crispus

The texture of Sorrel Dock, aka Curled Dock reminds me of spinach. Tender leaves, harvest May through September.

Sorrel: Rumex acetosella {another photo at the top of this post}

This sorrel (I don't know why they all have the same name) is more tender. Harvest May through September. If I recall correctly it tastes pleasantly sour. Leaves are tender and juicy. See Henriette's Herbal Homepage for more.

Yellow Wood Sorrel: Oxalis europea

We've always called this particular sorrel chickweed. Our friends who introduced us to it called it that. This is a very common garden weed and I usually see it much smaller in height, like 6 inches and under with little yellow flowers. My kids love it's tart, lemony flavor and pick and eat it all summer. Apparently you should use the leaves sparingly, oops. Harvest May through Sept.

Daylily

Daylily root: Hemerocallis fulva

Daylily's are a cultivated plant but around here they grow wild as well. The whole plant is edible at various times of the season. The young shoots can be eaten raw or cooked but are too tough beyond 8 inches or so (April). The buds and blossoms can be eaten in their turn (July-August) and the tubers probably all season long though the source I have says August-October. We ate them the day of the workshop and they are crunchy, reminiscent of carrots.

daylily bud: Celine's not convinced

Daylily roots: yep I ate a bite of those!

Dandelion

Dandelion: Taraxacum officinale

You knew this one was coming, right? The whole thing is edible but the roots are easiest to harvest in the spring when they aren't so long and the soil is more wet and loose. The greens taste the least bitter during early spring, not sure if they are "dangerous" after that time.

The workshop instructor told us how he makes "coffee" with the roots. Too much work for me, but definitely cool idea. For dandelion blossom recipes see 5 Orange Potatoes. Lisa she did a whole series this spring.

Happy Harvesting!

References & Resources
The workshop instructor recommended and shared knowledge learned from these 2 books: A Field Guide to Medicinal Plants and Herbs: Of Eastern and Central North America and The Green Pharmacy Herbal Handbook: Your Everyday Reference to the Best Herbs for Healing.

Related Posts

• Three Recommendations for the home herbalist Plants and resources to get you started
• Incredible Edible Nasturtiums A spicy garden flower for your salads

For more local food talk check out Food Roots over at Nourishing Days.

Homemaking blogs these days are all about gardens and what's growing. I've been so uninspired in that regard, what with the 40 days and 40 nights of rain we've had. I exaggerate of course but you get the idea of how I feel. But... I don't want to be left behind while everyone else is talking about their gardens so here's what I have to say about mine: it's wet.

Vegetables and Fruits: Enough for Snacking

After having delusions of grandeur in past years that I should work towards growing enough food to feed our family (I blame Animal, Vegetable, Miracle for that) I've finally reached a point where I'm happy saying I grow a snacking garden. Berries by the handful, not buckets. Peas by the pints not pecks. You get the idea.

Except for tomatoes. This year I've planted 14 plants of 6 or so varieties. Some heirlooms and some not after last year's failed attempts at the growing the "purples" - they all rotted on the vine. But this year's tomatoes are in a different location and I wonder at the harvest after all this rain and I think, as much as I tried to choose a sunny site, they might get less sunlight in their new bed.

The greens bed is quite... green and going to seed in fact. Time to rip out the Tatsoi and plant those St. Valery Carrots. The first seeding of Bright Lights Swiss Chard never did "take" so I planted more and filled in the rest of that 9 sq ft space with Mokum Carrots. We've eaten a few meals with the Arugula & Tatsoi but I still think it's more work that it's worth for how much I'm able to grow. Our family eats a lot of greens! But I'll continue to grow greens in this bed because it's fun and it helps me appreciate how much effort goes into every head of lettuce and 2 lb bag of spinach we get from our farm share.

Flowers: the Joy of Gardening

I grow more perennials than I care to name and have enough blooms to grace our table with continuous bouquets throughout the summer. After years of planning I have a non-stop show of color in 6 perennial beds from April through November. With plans to expand, always wanting to expand.

Flower gardening makes me happier than I am able to properly communicate. Because some days are just down right dreary but when there's a pretty bouquet on your table or the spicy, sweet scent of Dianthus greets you as you walk up your front steps, and there's a plant of lavender to run your hands through and breath deeply life just doesn't seem quite so bad. How people manage to live without flowers in their lives puzzles me.

I'm sure you've noticed my FIMBY logo is a blossom and most header pictures are flowers and there is a very good reason for that!

Kiddo gardens: Building and Planting

Someday I might actually post a tutorial (my least favorite kind of posts to be honest) on how to build a backyard pond - because this spring Laurent & I built one for him. It's small and not very photogenic right now so I don't have any pretty pictures to show. But it is sustaining life; tadpoles, lots of mosquito larvae, a bunch of slimy amphibian(?) eggs, a pond lily, pickerel weed, fairy moss and hundreds of microscopic creatures. A dream come true for my son.

The girls each built a flower bed. Brienne's is little and has mostly annuals, chosen purely for how showy they are - this is Brienne we're talking about here. She meticulously weeds and dead heads her cosmos and petunias. She makes my heart glad.

Celine's bed is more mature, just like her. Since each child was given a set amount of money to invest in their project Celine decided to purchase a few perennials for longevity. She choose plants based on their height; she wants to create a secret sitting spot, and different bloom times; so her garden is always colorful. That girl's a born gardener!

Her budget didn't include enough for a rose bush, the object of her heart's affection, but grandma came to rescue on that one. That rose bush is all her baby though. Roses are not my thing, way to finicky, prone to mildew and need pruning. But Celine's armed with library books and recipes for homemade sprays - I wish her well!

So I think that's the quick version of what's happening in the garden this spring and early summer. It's blooming, it's growing, it feeds us a little. Our gardens are a place of learning, enjoyment and work. They don't provide a lot of bodily nourishment (it will be months before those tomatoes are ready) but they feed our growing minds and our spirits.

Now if only it would stop raining so we could be outside to enjoy it more!

Granted, it's not a big city but it's decidedly hipper (more touristy and expensive) than ours. Saturday night we headed to the Old Port, the historical downtown district of Portland, ME, to celebrate Damien's birthday at our favorite Japanese & Korean restaurant. A bonus of having my mother-in-law visiting is that she was able to watch the kiddos. Sweet.

my date: (I shot this while walking with the camera sitting on my shoulder)

After a meal of sushi, tempura, miso soup, kimche and tofu bibim bap we took to the streets to walk. And shop. We rarely have impromptu shopping sessions since we plan out all our purchases and follow a strict clothing budget. But not this night. I used my little stash of personal money (everyone gets a small allowance each week for their own discretionary spending) and bought a marked down $10 pair of rayon capri's I found at the flowing skirt & asian handicraft store.

Know the kind of store I mean? The tags all read Global Village and 20% of profits go to some good cause in an impoverished country. Can't remember the cause but I recall reading the "don't steal, we donate money" notice in the bamboo screened change room. I very rarely get new clothes that aren't outdoorsy/adventuring gear so I was very pleased with my feminine find.

I was pleased also the with photos I managed to take even though the light was dim and there was no warm setting sun to illuminate the photos (thanks to the unending rain we're getting).

A great date with awesome food, fun company and nice finds.

I'm kind of blue today, melancholy I guess would be the right word. Yesterday we celebrated Damien's 37th birthday and it was a wonderful day. And today is Father's Day, as you all know, but I don't get to be with my own dad (who lives 12 hours away) and that tugs at my heart and seems to be tugging down my mood as well. The constant rain and gray skies from the past few days isn't helping either.

I'm also wrestling with being the best (fill in the blank) for everyone in my life. Tomorrow my mother-in-law's 17 day visit is coming to an end and my 10 year old will be taking a trip to visit Nana and Papa. The preparations for these departures fall on the same weekend as both Damien's birthday, Father's Day and tomorrow is also my mother's birthday.

And so I struggle with these questions:

In the past couple weeks was I the best daughter-in-law I could be, at the same time being the best mother & wife?
This weekend am I the best wife and friend to my husband while being the best daughter to my parents and mother to my own daughter who is leaving for a 10 day trip?

The answer of course is no. I'm not the best, but I am trying and it's the trying to give my best, and not meeting my own expectations, that I find so difficult. I want to be everything to everybody and I just can't.

But I do know that on Wednesday this week I was an awesome mother and loving daughter-in-law because I took my beach loving children and Damien's prairie dwelling mother to the ocean. And I gave them all that I really have to give, my time.

I am enjoying living those memories today.

I am also hoping that my father, though I can't be with him, will appreciate these photos of his grandchildren at one the places he loves - the ocean. And knowing that I am sending one my greatest gifts, my precious daughter, his way for a much anticipated grandparent/granddaughter get together.

To all the loved ones in my life - my children, my husband, my parents, my in-laws, my siblings, my friends - please know am I trying my best. I am sorry when I can't give you everything you need, as is my heart's desire. But in the end though it seems we're all as fragile as sand castles our love does abide and the sun will come out again, hopefully sooner than later.