Each Christmas, though my body is in one place, my heart is in many places, specifically in all the places I've celebrated Christmas through the years, and with family spread across the country; western Canada, New England, Quebec, and the Maritimes.
I thought I would find confidence again by getting reacquainted with myself as a child, tapping into my feisty young adult self. I thought I might have to go back to who I was, to find out who I am now. Or maybe I needed to look forward, to craft a vision, into the unknowable future, to define myself based on who I wanted to become. Or maybe I just needed to love myself.
Obedience, sacrifice, confession, repentance these are deeply personal spiritual practices, best shared in a trusted community. Unfortunately these practices and postures of the heart can become yokes that people are pressured into bearing. But condemnation, fear of failure, inadequacy is not how the Spirit moves us into spiritual discipline.
Photographing my heart's joy and delight, it's what I do. But as my "delights" grow and move to independence, as they have experiences completely apart from me, in such healthy and beautiful ways, I guess I'll content myself with photographing the morning snow.