Home & Hearth
I don't usually look back over a past month and spend much time reflecting. I'm fairly forward thinking and like to look ahead more than over my shoulder. But as we move through the days of late summer, shifting gears to prepare for fall, I feel the need to make sense of August. To process and understand what has been a very intense month. The intensity of which I hadn't anticipated or planned for.
Part of the challenge of doing this in such a public space (I love writing for a public audience by the way) is that as much as I love to be open and honest I need to also respect certain privacies. I am doing my best to walk that line in writing this post.
Looking back, I learned new lessons this month and others were things re-learned and remembered.
Time & Life Management:
- Living according to your priorities is hard work. I'm not trying to balance it all. I know what my mission is but that doesn't mean the trust, surrender and daily discipline required to reach those goals is easy.
- Taking time each day to write is very important to me.
- Going swimming each week (friend's pools, freshwater beaches, mountain streams) is a non-negotiable for a summer as lovely as this.
- I don't like coming face to face with my own inadequacies. I take pride in being competent, organized and in control. When I am not those things my sense of self worth plummets.
- When life is crazy it is hardest to eat well, get adequate rest and downtime, exercise in the outdoors, spend quality time together, pray, read and reflect. When life is crazy it is most important to eat well, get adequate rest and downtime, exercise in the outdoors, spend quality time together, pray, read and reflect.
- All plans are subject to change.
Kitchen:
- Making live fermented pickles (or are they called lacto-fermented?) is super easy and tasty. Why didn't I do this sooner??
- Amy's Frozen burritos make for a delicious, next-to-nil preparation supper and are a lot cheaper when bought through the buying club. In a pinch they can be heated on a cast iron pan.
- On certain days cleaning the crafting, living, and sleeping spaces are optional. Cleaning the kitchen isn't.
- You can make chocolate cake in a mug!
Loving & Relationships:
- Friendship, connection and encouragement can reach across the internet and come from people you've never met in person.
- Taking the time to give my children long hugs gives us more warm fuzzies and well being than a brief encounter (duh, but really I'm consciously working on this).
- Loving this man means loving adventure.
- The unique joy of being both a daughter to my parents and a wife to my husband is getting sweeter all the time. In years past I sometimes felt (though I know this wasn't true) that I had to choose one or the other. This past month it was especially clear to me that I am resting in both at one time. What a gift.
Beauty, Gardening & Soul Care:
- A summer's day line dried sheets truly are one of life's simple pleasures.
- Our butterfly bush is the best investment we ever made for attracting butterflies to our backyard. That combined with a month of fabulous weather has brought multiple butterfly species, attractive moths and even a hummingbird to our backyard. I have watched this daily show through my kitchen window with deep, deep appreciation and awe.
- The Mitford Series has been the perfect summer read. Thank you to the friends who recommended it.
- Also recommended is All Creatures Great and Small. I am especially enjoying this audio version which the kids and I are listening to.
- Goldfinches like sunflowers.
- To quote Guy Clark, "There's only two things that money can't buy and that's true love and homegrown tomatoes".
I don't know what September holds. There are plans being made, dreams followed, dates on the calendar and general directions I want to move in but August has taught me to hold lightly to those things. And prepare myself to be flexible.
This past month there have been some hard lessons for a routine loving, plan knowing gal like myself. But there has been a lot of beauty in my life each day and love freely given. And I am so very thankful.
Mid June till Mid July was an intense month for our family. Not too much of that was reflected in this space but now that I've had a couple weeks to breathe and process I have a few thoughts about that holy grail of motherhood - balance.
In short, I don't believe in balance. My life as mother, homemaker, homeschooler, blogger etc.. is not a quest for the elusive ideal of balance. If my life is quest for anything, it's a journey where I'm choosing to live according to priorities and principles, learning to discover and be the person God created me to be.
That sure was wordy but what I'm trying to say is I don't feel inspired to live a life of balance I feel inspired to live a life of meaning and purpose. So when I have a trying time, like last month, where I am daily asking "how do I balance all this?" I know something is wrong.
I have indicator signs when life is out of control. Here's a few:
- I find myself repeatedly telling the children "it's just a busy week", as we rush somewhere else or cut short a favorite weekly activity.
- I am teary regardless of what time of month it is.
- I don't read as much as I'd like.
- I complain about cooking way more than I should.
- I'm generally short on patience, grace and forgiveness for myself and others.
Photo credit: Damien
I still remember last summer reading this short, sweet and succinct (which I am not) post called Maybe There is No Such Thing as Balance from Shannon at Nourishing Days. I think she nails it on the head. Reflecting on her thoughts makes me question, "what have I been given to do during this day, this week, this season of life?"
By this way of thinking it comes down to living out our family's priorities, not trying to "balance it all". This sounds freeing to me.
Living according to priorities, not balance, seems so simple. But it's hard work and I especially get tripped up when it's time to change priorities. Which is what happened last month. I couldn't see the perfect storm that was brewing (thanks Erin for sharing these words) and ended up over committed. Burnt out.
Children grow. Situations evolve. Priorities change. Accepting that is one of my big lessons this summer.
Not to say I'm naturally good at this. I'm not, but I'm learning how to move forward with what is most important right now and let go of the rest. This is a lesson I need to learn often it seems.
Right now I'm moving forward with our family's next big adventure, cooking in the kitchen, managing our home, homeschooling/nurturing/raising our children, supporting Damien's endeavors, blogging my thoughts, being outdoors with my family and taking time for friendships and spiritual growth. These are my priorities (not necessarily in that order).
I'm letting go of managing one buying club and being treasurer for another. Harder than finishing those responsibilities though is releasing the guilt I feel of not doing enough for my community and church in this current season of focusing on home and family. And of course I'm not mentioning the myriad of other things I've chosen to let go of (no time or mental space to dwell on those right now) so I can focus on what's most important.
I wish I could wrap up this post with some witty, go-forth-and-conquer (prioritize your family life) conclusion. Try as I might I can't seem to do that. I've sat on this post for over a week and it's time to hit publish.
But first I need to add these loose ends (how's that for a conclusion!).
- Maybe it's all semantics. What I view as ordering my life according to priorities, someone else might see as balance.
- Ordering priorities and living according to those is sometimes plain hard work. Simple in theory? Maybe. Hard work in practice? Definitely.
- Change is hard for me. Sometimes I despair of ever getting better at this.
~~~
Related Posts:
The berries this summer are all mixed up. Actually, not true, everything is just really early. Strawberries in June. Raspberries done by the middle of July.
And now this. Blueberries picked out by the first week in August. First week in August?
Finding blueberries has proven difficult this summer. Apparently they were ready two weeks early. In addition many farms experienced un-timely frost, storms and pest problems which has further limited the supply. In years past I would start picking early August and finally give out in September, though often berries remained on the bushes.
This year was to be a different story. Because of other family commitments and priorities for July I wasn't able to go picking. Until today. After calling four farms earlier this week I was finally able to find a u-pick with a few berries left.
We may get in one more picking next week. But this could be it.
I will be freezing most of them tomorrow (I use a similar method to this) and we'll be eating some fresh. We'll do our best to enjoy these without thinking of all that we missed out on.
Afterall, the freezers are still full of strawberries and raspberries from the late June/early July frenzy of berry picking.
Are you picking any berries these days?
