High School

Show and Share Supper

My children live in the world of fantasy; the world of Middle Earth and Araluen. They walk the land of wizards, orcs, kobolds, and rangers. They strategize in the worlds of Neverwinter Nights 2, Baldur's Gate, and Pathfinder.

They speak the language of bestiaries, hit points, and armor class. They build with cobblestone, redstone, and sticky pistons. And they write stories, characters and plots; draw pictures and make art, about these worlds.

Baldurs Gate Drawing

My children have active, vivid and fantasy-world driven imaginations.

And so I spend my days learning about things that don't exist, being told of campaigns and characters. I have started gaming myself so I can understand a bit of this world that fascinates them so much. This world that captures their imagination and takes them places I have never been and that frankly, don't exist.

For the most part, this is all fine and dandy. We don't limit our kids interests to the things we parents know and love. In which case my kids would be little clones of me and we'd all talk about beauty and nature, homeschooling, and blogging. Or little clones of Damien, talking about shoes, science, and technology.

Baldurs Gate Drawing

We like being individuals sharing a loving and supportive family life. And we support our children's fantasy interests; Céline's whole curriculum right now is about building a fantasy world and game. We are totally behind our kids, but there is a limit, and we reached it.

Our supper time fantasy table talk was becoming tedious. It was time to re-engage with the "real world".

Supper is a key coming together point in our day. It's funny, we share our living space all day, but we're busy - with school, play and work. Things happen in our day that we don't have the time or energy to share until we sit down to eat a meal.

Increasingly our supper meal was being taken over by the fantasy realm my children live in. Damien and I were starting to wonder, "have our children experienced anything from the real world today?"

Painting Chickadees

Of course they had, they just weren't coming to the table ready to share that. They were defaulting to what came easily and naturally - their fantasy interests.

But as fascinating as fantasy is to our children, it isn't always so fascinating to us and we didn't want to spend our supper living in another world. So we instituted "real world" supper conversations. Specifically show and share supper (I just made that phrase up right now).

Since kiboshing the fantasy talk at the supper table we had to give our children something to fill the void. They wondered, "if we can't talk about our characters, our hit points, or the beasts we slayed today, what can we talk about?" (I know, what else is there?!)

smoothie and markers

Here's what we told them, "come to the table with something you learned today."

You know the classic, "what did you learn at school today son?" To which the son replies, "nothing".

That's kind of what show and share supper is about, but "nothing" is a no-go response of course.

We all participate and the only rules for what you share are that 1) it has to be based in reality and 2) should be something that other people can relate to.

spring river with catkins

We're all very unique individuals with diverse interests. We need to keep our audience in mind when bringing something to the table. Damien is learning things all the time that are way over the kids heads and I am learning things all the time that no one cares about (blogging related things for example). We try to share something that other people can relate to. This is actually an important social skill.

Show and share supper has been interesting. We're sharing things we've learned that day, or recently, about history, science, nature, art, language, and more.

The younger two are actively looking throughout the day for something to add to the conversation. They're serious about this. And they are expanding their horizons a bit beyond their fantasy pre-occupation. Céline usually brings something to the table from her self-directed studies that day.

girl running on road

Recently, for show and share supper Brienne gave us a mini-presentation on coltsfoot (an easily identifiable spring herb) and I talked about Harlequin ducks. (Did you know their summer habitat is turbulent mountain streams and where we live on the Gaspe peninsula is one of the few eastern regions you'll find them in summer? I saw a mated pair on my morning run.)

Céline shared her insights and enthusiasm for medieval Japanese puppetry (part of her research for the fantasy world she's building) and Laurent gave a presentation on the manufacturing of electric cars (summarizing what he'd learned in a Nature of Things episode).

sunshine through the spring woods

Just the other night, the discussion was all things salamanders, inspired by an afternoon of science. (This is a fabulous documentary by the way. Highly recommend.)

Out came the books and the iPads, complete with creepy photos of amphibians bigger than your dog (gives me the weeby-geebies).

You'd be amazed the amount of "school" that is covered in these discussions. And what is especially fun for me is when my kids come to the table with something I did not teach or facilitate. Laurent giving a presentation on electric cars for example, leading into a post-supper conversation about photosynthesis. Brienne, I found out, hadn't learned about this yet so Wednesday night at 8:30 pm was good a time as any.

Some people wonder, "what does interest-led learning look like?"

In our home, interest-led learning looks like letting our kids live in a fantasy world. And then pulling them out from that world now and again to share what they know from the real world.

tiger salamander drawing

It looks like learning to give oral presentations and reading poetry around the supper table, fielding questions from family.

It looks like everyone bringing something to the table, because they want to, because it interests or intrigues them. And it looks like spin-off discussions in new and interesting directions based on what you've just found out.

It's not that complicated, it's quite simple really. As simple as a show and share supper.

Where They Want To Be (or, you don't need a school-room to homeschool)

The house we currently live in has the most "living space" of any home we've had.

There are three distinct shared living spaces: a small finished walkout basement with a woodstove; a one-room addition that houses our outdoor gear, the treadmill, a desktop computer, a futon and all the craft supplies - we call this "the studio"; and our living and dining room which is an extension of our open kitchen. This is the space you see most often on the blog.

chalet dining room

There are a few reasons you see this space more than any other. It has fabulous natural light, so it photographs well. It is attached to the kitchen where I spend a lot of time and where my camera is close at hand. And it's the place where nearly all the action happens, and therefore most of the photos are taken.

When we moved into this house last summer I imagined the studio (the addition I mentioned above) with its wall of windows, high ceiling, easy access to craft materials, and oriental rug floor (the only carpet in the house) would be the place for doing stuff. That's why I called it the studio.

kids painting on couch

I imagined a living room floor and futon that would remain mostly clean and clutter free. (Which would have been the first time ever in our family life, but hey, a girl can dream.) I imagined the clutter of family living and creativity would be kept in another room. I named the room in anticipation of that. Ha, ha!

It turns out, after living nearly a year in a home with ample space to spread out, my kids want to be where they have always been. Close to the kitchen and close to me.

girl on computer

Even our young adult, who has a private loveseat nook in her room, spends most of her day at the kitchen counter - learning, creating, and connecting with friends on her computer.

It would seem she wants to remain smack dab in the middle of the action, surrounded by cooking and clutter. I love it. I wouldn't wish for it to be any other way.

I wonder if this is what happens when you don't push your children away as babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Maybe, when you spend years keeping them close as littles (exactly where they want to be at that age) they want to stay close when they are bigs.

kids playing lego

Or maybe it's just because we've always lived in smaller, modest homes and the only space to craft was the dining room table and living room floor. That's what they are used to.

There are other factors no doubt that contribute to our living room being a literal living room. It is a lovely space with large windows and with a direct view to the birdfeeder, a source of amusement and fascination for our family.

Also, all the children have their own portable computer devices, there is no need to use the desktop computer in the studio except for access to certain software programs.

crafting on table

So this is how it works in our home. All the stuff - the lego, the craft supplies, the books, the toys - they're all stored somewhere else. But whatever the kids want to read, use, or play with is dragged into the living area; and sometimes for days, like when they make tents or boats. And I will spend the week walking around a tent every time I move from the kitchen to the couch and around to the dining room table. (Friday afternoon is the day everything must be cleaned up and put away in time for weekend hospitality.)

For the first time ever in our family life we have space elsewhere for playing and crafting,yet the living room is where they play, the dining room table is where they craft. Just like when they were 6, 4 & 2.

And when we sit down to eat lunch we sometimes share the table with paint projects (we always clean off the table for supper), but so what?

paint on table

There are worse things than having projects on the dining room table, like no projects at all.

Dreams of a clutter free living room floor... are still just dreams. My kids are (almost) 14, 12 and 10 and I still regularly step on itty bitty pieces of Lego.

My kids will be the first to tell you I do not always approach this part of creative family living with utter equanimity. I occasionally "freak out" about messy floors and messy counters.

But for the most past I cherish this because I see what is around the bend. I have an older child that is around that bend already and I know what's coming.

imaginary boats

Our young adult is starting to live in a mostly digital world. No muss, no fuss but also none of the beauty that accompanies the hands-on creative process. No bright red paint splashed against the tin palette. No lego piles, sorted by color, strewn on the sunlit floor.

I know, after fourteen years of parenting and homeschooling three active, creative, and inquisitive children you don't need a special space to create the "right environment" for creativity or learning.

You don't need a learning room, a library, or a studio. It's nice if you have a bit of extra space for storage of supplies, a large closet will do. But the right space is not the prerequisite for creating the right environment, a right relationship is.

Right relationship is when you value relationship more than stuff and you work on how to share space and how to give and take. It's when mama lets go of her need to control and have perfection. And the kids in turn, learn how to respect and clean up when asked to do so.

boy drawing on floor

Right relationship creates the environment for learning and living together, the space is secondary.

The Spring I Start Running

New Balance Minimus

I don't know what to do with this. I don't know how to respond to yesterday's running related tragedy in Boston. I've been a spectator at the Boston Marathon. I've been at that finish line, waiting with my children, for my parents to cross.

My Dad met Laurent for the first time, as a six week old baby, at the Boston Marathon weekend. I am angry and sad and so very tired of bombs and guns and people killing people.

This post was written and scheduled for today and I am going ahead with it. I think the subject matter is fitting at least.

~~~

I've been thinking for a while now that one day I would start running but I've been digging in my heels, quite literally. The last time I did any serious running was when Céline was a baby. That seems like another life.

I believe in healthy living and well being. It's one of my core values. But I also believe in doing things I enjoy and doing them for a purpose. There never seemed to be much of a purpose for me in running and it was definitely something I didn't enjoy doing.

Running makes your muscles tired and it makes you sweat. And where I live, at the end of a ~~dirt~~ mud road, running makes you dirty. I just haven't enjoyed running in the past and I thought of every excuse to avoid doing it. And felt perfectly fine about making those excuses.

I am physically healthy. I hike or ski every weekend with my family and usually get a couple walks in during the week. That's good enough, isn't it?

It used to be good enough but it's not good enough any more.

I thought I could get by with exercise every other day and then one longish day of physical exercise on the weekends.

I found out this winter that I need more physical, outdoor activity than that. I don't need to run to lose weight. But it turns out I need to run for a different kind of health - my mental health.

I started simply by walking every day, for about an hour.

In order to make this happen in my life I have to do it in the mornings, because then I know it will happen. This is not an early morning routine. If I knew I had to exercise, outdoors, first thing when I got up I wouldn't get out of bed.

For me exercising has to happen during my daytime work hours. It's a commitment I'm making to my health and it's work. It can happen during the "work" hours of the day.

Sometime between 10:00 and 12:00 (I want to be all done by noon), I leave the house for an hour of exercise. Sometimes I walk, but three days a week I run. I'm training for a 5K in June.

I had a difficult mental struggle this winter and one of things that came out of that was a commitment to daily (or near daily) exercise. My mental health depends on it.

Once I committed to being outside everyday for physical exercise it wasn't much of a leap to running.

New Balance Minimus

I used to think running was hard. You get sore muscles, side stitches, leg cramps. Blah, blah, blah.

Let me tell you, the pain I have experienced running is nothing, nothing, compared to what I put myself though learning to telemark ski this winter. Once I made this realization I viewed running in a whole new light.

Telemark skiing gave me burning thighs, bruised shins, sore ankles, and more. My body hurt after skiing. And while I was on the hill I felt defeated as often as I felt elated.

Telemark skiing is hard. Running is like child's play compared to that. It's as easy as putting on the right layers, the right shoes (minimalist of course), and simply running out the door. (Keeping in mind I'm only going out for short runs at this point.)

This is such an amazing turn of events for me I can't quite believe this has happened.

I used to need my exercise to be fun and purposeful to get me out the door. But once I made a commitment to exercise for my mental health, knowing I would get out the door whether I felt like it or not, the decision to run was easy. If I'm going to exercise anyway, why not run?

Our whole family is running now, picking up where we left off last fall.

With my daily commitment to outdoor exercise and Damien's continued commitment (he's always been a dedicated exerciser), our kids are getting in on the running also.

New Balance Minimus

They are required to spend time outside every week day and of course Sunday is our day for family outdoors, so that's at least six days a week that they get outside. As they get older "playing" outdoors has less appeal, but they still need outdoor physical exercise. Running and walking are perfect activities for this.

We require our kids to spend time outside (because we require ourselves to spend time outdoors). They can choose what they want to do with that time. They are choosing to exercise with us.

So now we're all training for a race in June. Damien made training plans for us all. He's training for a half marathon, way out of my league right now. The rest of us are training for a 5K.

New Balance Minimus

You can download our 5K training plan here in case you want to do something like this yourself. Our usual training route is 2.5K from our door. We do it twice, so a R R W R stands for Run out, Run back, Walk out, Run back.

Damien wants me to add that this is a very unscientific training plan. It's simply a guide to help the kids and I gradually ease up to running 5K. (Damien's own training is the near opposite of mine; involving a heart rate monitor, a computer program, GPS technology and other technical wizardry. Damien's training program is science through and through, complete with altitude graphs and maximum heart rates. My training plan is sheet of paper with check boxes.)

All these years I have dug my heals in and refused to "go running". I laugh now at my stubbornness. This feels really good.

I'm finding that once you make that commitment to your health, and find a way to make it work in your schedule that works with who you are, there's really nothing to stop you.