There Are no Words

March 7, 2011

There is no easy way to say this. Our friends had a house fire on Friday morning. Two of their children, precious girls ages 6 & 11, died in the fire.

I spent the better part of the weekend organizing an effort to deliver supper meals for the next forseeable future. This timely article at SimpleBites Cooking For Others: A Guide to Giving Sympathy Meals has been very helpful.

Today is much of the same. E-mails, phone calls - connecting with people who are coordinating all kinds of support for the family.

My heart is both numb and heavy with sorrow. I am in shock and yet need to attend to my own home and children. My mind is constantly thinking about our friends and their immense loss. I have never experienced anything like this before and yet my own pain is nothing, absolutely nothing, as compared to the family's.

I am truly at a loss for words. This is a time to love, support, pray, feed and rally around our friends in need. It is also the time to take care of my own children. To love, hold and feed them and be so thankful I am able to do so. I feel terrible that I have something so precious that a friend has lost.

There are no words.

This is not the time for me to write. It's the time to do - cook, love, support, drive, phone, e-mail, coordinate - things that need to be done. To stay busy so I don't have to stop and think for too long.

I may or may not be checking in here this week. Right now anything I would publish (along the lines of what I usually write about) would seem an affront to our friend's loss. Creativity and beauty. The celebration of home, family life and nature - none of that seems appropriate right now, nor does it reflect the pain in my heart.

There are no words.

I appreciate your prayers for the H. family.

Filed Under

« Encouraging Creativity in Your Home
I Forgot About the Lambs »
  • Shannon

    Shannon on March 7, 2011, 9:12 p.m.

    Oh Renee, I can't imagine this pain. Our prayers for their family and yours. Thank God they have friends like your family that surround them in love.

    reply
  • Naomi Kilbreth

    Naomi Kilbreth on March 7, 2011, 11:17 p.m.

    Absolutely gut wrenching! I heard about the fire yesterday. There really are no appropriate words for such a time, but it sure does make me even more thankful for the three blessings we have. May God comfort them and heal their hearts, and may He bless your family with words/actions to share with them. SO sorry!!

    reply
  • Emily

    Emily on March 7, 2011, 11:53 p.m.

    This news has not left my mind since I saw that you had posted it on your Twitter sidebar. I just can't even imagine the profound sorrow and heartache. My thoughts and prayers are with this sweet family, as well as your own, Renee. I've been thinking of how upsetting it must be to you all, especially for your dear children. You are doing all that is good. Peace to you. And, thank you for your email reply. Please, please don't worry about responding further. xoxo

    reply
  • laura

    laura on March 7, 2011, 11:55 p.m.

    What shockingly horrible news. I am so sorry for the family and I pray they find the place in their hearts that gives them the most peace. Ugh...so sad and I'm sorry you are going through it too.

    reply
  • MrsMK

    MrsMK on March 8, 2011, 12:30 a.m.

    If you haven't read her yet, now would be the time to start. Molly Piper has a long series on "How to Help Your Grieving Friend". Can't reccomend her articles enough, as a mother who has buried children.

    reply
  • Shawna

    Shawna on March 8, 2011, 12:32 a.m.

    Oh renee, how heartbreaking. It makes my stomach sick to even think of being in their position. I'm sending thoughts of strength and love to the family and community. It will take that and so much more to make it through. Hugs to you.

    reply
  • Suzanne

    Suzanne on March 8, 2011, 1:59 a.m.

    Just last week we made the most gut wrenching decision to terminate a pregnancy. It was done with much sorrow, heart ache and tears, but our baby had almost no brain and her spinal cord was not attached to anything above her shoulders. She couldn't survive-so much sadness to deliver a baby you loved and can't take home. People didn't know what to say to us. But they called anyway. They loved us anyway they knew how. They prayed for us. They cooked us food. Brought us coffee. Let us cry and made us recognize just how much they thought of us. Sadly it was recognized with such a sad event in our lives but they were present and it made us feel-normal-well as much as we could. So talk even when you don't know what to say-no one does. Bring food, be present even if you're uncomfortable. My thoughts and prayers are with them, it will be tough and they will never be the same people but when the weeks wear on and the help disappears call, listen and love...

    reply
  • Rana

    Rana on March 8, 2011, 3:29 a.m.

    You are right, there really are no words. Our prayers are with this family and your own to help give them the strength to cope with this tragedy. I am so sorry!

    reply
  • Kimberly

    Kimberly on March 8, 2011, 3:50 a.m.

    Oh Renee, I am so unbelievably sorry! It is true that when one part of the Body is hurting, we all hurt. I will be praying that the presence of Christ will be made manifest to everyone involved. Love and prayers from north Texas!

    reply
  • Kika

    Kika on March 8, 2011, 4:09 a.m.

    Renee, I too am so sorry for the loss that your friend is experiencing and yours. The very idea of that kind of grief is so painful. I am lifting you up in prayer and praying for your friend. I pray God will anchor you all and give you a peace that transcends understanding and strength to walk together through this.

    reply
  • Francesca

    Francesca on March 8, 2011, 5:51 a.m.

    I too am at a loss for words Renee. Life is not just creativity and beauty, but also loss and sometimes tragedy, and it's really hard (for me) to give any reason for why. I hope your friends have many people like you, who can be close to them, and give them support. Hugs.

    reply
  • Anonymous

    Anonymous on March 8, 2011, 12:33 p.m.

    I'm definitely praying for your friend's family...to especially feel God's presence while grieving. Also for you, as you go about being there for them.

    reply
  • Nancy

    Nancy on March 8, 2011, 3:07 p.m.

    Renee, Our hearts ache for this family, cannot imagine the pain and grief. Praying for comfort for them and strength for you as you show your love and support in many tangible ways.

    reply
  • Melanie

    Melanie on March 8, 2011, 3:13 p.m.

    Such sad news, how blessed they are to have friends like you who truly care about them. Our thoughts are with you and the family at this time. Sending love across the miles....

    reply
  • Gina Brown

    Gina Brown on March 8, 2011, 5:39 p.m.

    Oh what a tragic story. I am so very sorry. Thank you for posting this as I am sure the family can use all of our thoughts and prayers, though we may be strangers. Absolutely heartbreaking. Sending my healing thoughts to your dear friends, your community and your own family.

    reply
  • Shawn

    Shawn on March 9, 2011, 3:42 a.m.

    Unthinkable. So sorry for you and for them, and praying for all of you to feel comforted. I like the comment above - even when time moves on, remember to phone them and still offer up that love.

    reply
  • Anonymous

    Anonymous on March 9, 2011, 4:42 a.m.

    I am so sorry for your friend's loss. My heart is breaking for them. You all are in my prayers.~Love,Beth

    reply
  • bethany

    bethany on March 9, 2011, 7:26 a.m.

    words fail. i cannot begin to imagine. may the prayers lift up, the hearts be held, and the shoulders broad enough for the burdens they are given to bear.

    reply
  • Jolie Newman

    Jolie Newman on March 10, 2011, 2:40 a.m.

    Prayers! May the love of Christ guide you and bless the work of your hands to help heal their sorrow.

    reply
  • FireMom

    FireMom on March 10, 2011, 2:11 p.m.

    I am the spouse of a firefighter. Posts like this make me catch my breath. We will be thinking of and praying for your friends -- and you. Thank you for being a good friend during this immensely difficult time.

    reply
  • Shelley R.

    Shelley R. on March 10, 2011, 2:46 p.m.

    Awhile back, apart from responding in hands-on love like you are, I shared the song "Silence of God" by Andrew Peterson with a woman who had lost a beloved family member unexpectedly. A few lyrics brought her comfort when even Scripture and prayers of friends seemed hollow to her heart, they were:

    And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God The aching may remain, but the breaking does not

    reply
  • Nicola @ Which Name?

    Nicola @ Which Name? on March 11, 2011, 5:09 a.m.

    Oh, Renee. I am deeply sorry for that loss. Your post is beautiful and heartfelt and honest. I imagine it takes a strong loving family and amazing support from the community (for a long, long time) to even begin to breathe again after such a loss. They are in my thoughts. Hugs, Nicola

    reply
  • Michele

    Michele on March 11, 2011, 11:50 p.m.

    I stopped over here after you so kindly visited my blog... and was so sad to read about this loss. I simply cannot imagine or even pretend to say, "I know how it feels." I just do not know how I could cope with such a loss or, truly, comfort a friend or loved one who endured one. You just really never know what can happen. I will be hugging my little ladies a little tighter tonight.

    Bless you for being there for them. I am sure they are so grateful.

    reply

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