Get posts by email
A Week of Un-Thanksgiving
November 23, 2010
This year Brienne's birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day. This "phenomenon" occurs every few years and the last time I recall it happening was six years ago when she turned two. We're not Americans (Brienne just corrected me, she and Laurent are Americans) so we don't have a history of celebrating Thanksgiving in November. In years past we have appreciated being included in other people's celebrations.
With Brienne's birthday coinciding with Thanksgiving though we decided to do another un-Thanksgiving. Instead the day will be about her, with her favorite foods (take out pizza for supper) and hanging out together.
But that doesn't mean this week I'm off from cooking duty. Hardly. We still have a little girl to celebrate with a cake and tea party on Wednesday with a friend.
While all around me, at least here in the US, everyone is focusing on Thanksgiving, my energies are going to birthday preparations and I feel out of sync.
I feel out of sync in other ways also, a repeat (or resurfacing?) of the loneliness and isolation I expressed in this post. Part of that feeling is due to my focus on home and heart these days. The grey weather, without a doubt, intensifies those emotions.
I have a list of Christmas gifts I am excited to make, as soon as Brienne's birthday is over (one thing at a time) but my overall creative groove is shifting gears and my camera often sits unused for days at a time.
There are big changes ahead that I am preparing for in my mind and heart and right now I just need time to mull them over. I haven't been writing much either, which may start to show in the frequency and content of the posts here in the coming weeks.
I've been taking hot baths. Tucking myself into bed at 9 pm with a book or two. And last night, a Monday of all nights when we work hard to get supper on the table early, do garbages and recycling and then walk to the library - we stayed home instead. Had a slow supper, made hot cocoa and watched a movie together.
I like this slowing down of days and the increased time for reflection and thought. The feelings of loneliness I could do without but sometimes life is just like that.
Filed Under
-
Rachael on Nov. 23, 2010, 7:31 p.m.
Well, Canadians are Americans too! ;)
I hope your blahs get better. Thank you for giving me hope that someday my two small children will grow up and I will get a warm bath to myself again! Happy birthday to your girl!
-
renee on Nov. 23, 2010, 9:03 p.m.
Canadians are Americans too? (the Canadian in me takes exception to that statement - smile).
I suppose some of them are, like my son and daughter who were born in the US to Canadian parents. Maybe you mean North americans.
-
Rachael on Nov. 25, 2010, 3:34 p.m.
um, yes. Didn't word that so well did I? Sorry.
-
renee on Nov. 25, 2010, 10:26 p.m.
No problem. Sorry to be touchy about that (smile). Us Canadians can get bowled over by our big cousin neighbors and have to stand up for ourselves once in a while.
-
-
-
-
Michele on Nov. 23, 2010, 8:45 p.m.
Enjoy your daughter's birthday. Make sure you take time for yourself and have a cup of tea and cookies.
-
renee on Nov. 23, 2010, 9:04 p.m.
tea and cookies - on the menu for the tea party in fact!
-
-
Amanda on Nov. 23, 2010, 9:52 p.m.
Hopefully winning the blog award will help you keep writing! The world needs your words!!! (ok, I'm being a little selfish) Congratulations, I'm so happy you won! You deserve it!
I can't focus on Thanksgiving, I'm still mentally back in September and I can't catch up. I'm not kidding. I am so not ready for the holiday season.
And I am out of sync too. But reading your blog always makes me feel a little more in sync with someone out there. :) Thanks for that.
-
Kelly on Nov. 23, 2010, 10:18 p.m.
Yes, sometimes life is just like that. But loneliness is a hard feeling. Take care of yourself!
-
Elizabeth on Nov. 23, 2010, 10:38 p.m.
New Reader... I have recently stumbled on your blog and honestly enjoy your posts. I can identify with much of what you write. I think it is the natural season change. Our bodies could never keep up with Spring and Summer's long days and pace. Loneliness has changed for me since becoming a mother. Before I was a mother I went and filled it up with "things and stuff" now I take time to feel the emotion of it, and it helps me appreciate the times that are packed full of togetherness. It truly is an ebb and flow in my life. I hope that you will emerge more serene and focused as you walk through it :) Thank you for sharing
-
renee on Nov. 24, 2010, 3:24 a.m.
Elizabeth, I appreciate what you had to share here and feel you understand where I am coming from. I like to feel the emotion of a season or a particular stretch of days. Although I'd love to feel my summer happy self every day (I LOVE summer), to feel more mellow with darkening, grey days is ok too. Thank you for understanding this and affirming this.
-
-
Hikingmama on Nov. 24, 2010, 3:01 a.m.
Renee, I've been subscribed to your blog for about two months now and finally decided to comment! I can very much relate to your sense of isolation and the 'blahs'. We're an outdoor, homeschooling family of 3 girls here in the Great Smokies. We were blessed with an exceptionally long paddling season (the weather was beautiful until Monday) and now it's time to return to hiking (my favorite). But unlike us, many of our fellow outdoor friends with kids(homeschoolers or not), 'hibernate' during the cold weather months. Despite the fact that we continue to get out routinely, doing it almost exclusively without our similarly-minded friends can be a very lonely time, particularly when you're a work from home mom as well. I've been discussing a small group winter camping trip in January with another friend and her daughter, and have high hopes for that. When you get down, I hope you'll remember that there are a bunch of us out here who draw continual inspiration from your work, and think you're awesome! Even if you don't celebrate it here, best wishes for a most blessed Thanksgiving holiday.
-
renee on Nov. 24, 2010, 3:19 a.m.
Wow! Can we go camping with you? We are planning a winter backpack trip for early next week, if the weather cooperates. You are blessed to have hiking friends. We have none. We hiked with a family for the first time ever last weekend and it was very nice. Very few people we have met enjoy similar activities as our family. It's hard.
Thank you for the Thanksgiving blessing. I do feel very grateful and am taking time this week also to ponder that.
-
-
Sofia's Ideas on Nov. 24, 2010, 10:48 a.m.
I love that you are embracing this, something I am certainly working on with myself. I tell myself to "Just Be" all the time, accepting and enjoying what "is" right now...
-
Francesca on Nov. 24, 2010, 11:51 a.m.
Congratulations Renee!
I often have similar feelings of loneliness, especially in winter, when I AM alone and the geographical isolation feels more difficult to conquer. Happy birthday to Brienne tomorrow!
-
Claudia on Nov. 24, 2010, 12:03 p.m.
Oh Renee, you KNOW I can relate to you when you say you feel out of sync and lonely. Up here we ARE celebrating Thanksgiving, 6 weeks or so after everyone else around us, and we have no one to share it with. It would be easy to overlook it entirely: my husband has to work, we'll still "do school", and in all ways it will be a regular day just with a traditional (for us) Thanksgiving dinner.
I am also struggling with the gray days and feelings of isolation. I'm trying to come to peace with the idea that this is a season of concentrating on the home, on cooking and nourishing my family and allowing the darkness and squalls of winter do what they will outside while keeping the peace indoors. This life season is over 2 years long though, a long time to focus inward.
And BTW: I agree that Canadians aren't Americans; it goes the other way too! :) Our kids are getting quite a different perspective on it than we have, aren't they? I know I'm looking forward to someday reflecting back on our years here and seeing how this time has shaped my son and the person he becomes, just as we are evolving through the experience.
My heart goes out to you, Renee. Sending you a virtual hug across the border!
And happy birthday to Brienne!
-
Colleen on Nov. 24, 2010, 1:03 p.m.
While we heartily embrace and celebrate Thanksgiving here in Texas, I have a son whose birthday was yesterday. He was just saying yesterday that he really dislikes it when his birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day, or the Friday after when we have our celebration. It's easy to have it get lost in the shuffle. I hope your daughter has a wonderful day.
Homeschooling can be lonely. We've enjoyed 80 degree days here this week, and our schedule is packed with activities. But there are always times when lulls occur, and when I at least feel like it is hard work to get us out interacting with the world, and that I crave conversation with other adults.
I'm inspired by your intention to ride it out, explore the emotions and hunker down and just sit with a lower ebb. Thanks for your posts! They always inspire me.
-
Renee Siff. on Nov. 24, 2010, 4:47 p.m.
Wish Brienne a very happy birthday for us! We're headed out for a pre-feast hike today, wishing you could join us.
And I'm excited to begin making MY Christmas presents, too! You've inspired me that doing what I love (making, baking, creating) is a gift I can share, as simple as it seems.
-
New Urban Habitat on Nov. 24, 2010, 7:06 p.m.
I too am learning to embrace the inevitable ebbs and flows of energy, and look at the down times as opportunities for reflection and rest. We're experiencing an uncharacteristic frozen few days here in the Northwest, and that cocoa and hot bath sounds pretty good right now. Happy un-Thanksgiving to you and Happy Birthday to Brienne!
-
Naomi on Nov. 26, 2010, 4:14 a.m.
Eight years! It's a special day for both Brienne and myself! It marks eight years since her birth day and my first day attending births! She is a beautiful reminder of the beginning of my path to serving women in birth, and for that I often think of her around this time of year :0) I suppose I can be a bit sentimental, lol
You can subscribe to comments on this article using this form.
If you have already commented on this article, you do not need to do this, as you were automatically subscribed.
Granola Girl on Nov. 23, 2010, 7:14 p.m.
I think you are stalking me again :) or have found some way inside my head. My cocoa and staying in post is almost done and was supposed to be up last night/this morning.
I hear you about the "blah's." My bedtime has been earlier with books or knitting as well. We're just hunkering down for winter and resting ourselves for the coming insanity of spring. Our family celebrates solstice, so it seems to sync us right up. It is nice to allow the downtime without feeling guilt for being lazy.
Hope your blahs are getting better.
renee on Nov. 23, 2010, 9:10 p.m.
You know, I don't feel blah. I feel well rested, inwardly focused, like hunkering down and a bit lonely. But not blah (at least not my definition of blah). It's ok to feel this way from time to time. I'm learning to accept the ebb and flow of energy levels, emotions and creative work. As long as I can release myself from my expectations and go with it (without guilt, like you say) these short seasons can be very restorative.
..."the coming insanity of spring", tell me about it! I'm trying not to think about it right now.