Happiness is living YOUR element

February 1, 2014

I have a writing routine. Every Friday morning I take it a little easy and write my weekly newsletter. This is easier because there's less coding and less photos to upload.

It's a small change in my writing habits and it works well with our Friday groove. And the program I use to send newsletters, Mail Chimp, is all drag and drop and prettiness. It's just fun.

If you don't subscribe to my newsletter here's how it works: I write a little story or reflection about my week, rooted very much in the season. With perhaps a thought to ponder, or an idea to inspire your weekend. I share a couple photos, I link to this week's blog posts, and I include a resource - a small business, an e-course, books, etc. - that I think FIMBY readers would appreciate.

When I sat down to write yesterday's newsletter my weekly reflection took more words to flesh out than I usually allow myself. It's supposed to be a postcard for goodness sake, not a letter! Yesterday's little newsie update was long. I think that's because it's something I've wanted to share for sometime and hadn't yet expressed, at least recently (I do see how my writing and ideas cycle round with the seasons.)

I'm sharing my newsletter reflection on the blog today because I'm finding it to be one of the most important truths in my life.

Last weekend we went to visit our friends who have a farm.

We have a few friends with farms. We value local food and community and we moved to this very location because there were small scale farmers growing food for the local population; not to mention there are mountains for skiing and hiking. (Yes, we love where we live.)

It's only natural these farmers would become our friends, they grow our food, we share similar values, we live in the same community.

I'm attracted to small organic farmer families, the type who write for Taproot magazine. I had my first chance to read the magazine last weekend since my friend Cat subscribes, and I fairly devoured it, appreciating especially the freedom education related articles I chanced across.

In an alternative version of my life I can imagine myself like these modern-day homestead families - rooted to a place in the rocky-soiled northeastern United States (we used to live in Maine, this does not take much imagining) or in the wilder and warmer Pacific northwest.

But that is not who we are. Damien has zero farming aspirations (and truth be told I'm not up for the fixed-ness of it all) and so a clothesline, soap making, compost heap, and large garden - somewhere, someday - are probably as homestead-y as we'll ever get.

We had a great weekend with our friends. They are the only homeschoolers we know on the peninsula, with kids our kids' ages. We share many of the same life values and we enjoy good talks in which we solve the world's problems (by growing food and raising creative thinkers).

We also eat really well when we visit since Catherine is a fabulous cook, and we stay cozy in their pay-as-you-go renovated hundred(?) year old farm house.

It's like living in a Taproot article.

There was a good dump of snow on the weekend and since we were visiting our friends we weren't able to go skiing.

But back at home, our house tucked up against the ski hill, we have lived our own version of intentional family life and gone skiing every day. Squeezed right in there between math and lunch our family has skinned up and skied down the mountain each day this week.

Our kids are as anxious to join us as we are go to. We tried leaving them home one morning so Damien and I could have a date, they'd have none of it!

This is who we are. This is our element.

I was happy this week. A successful Kickstarter campaign was definitely part of that. A big dump of beautiful snow, followed by sunny skies, also contributed.

But a big part of the happiness comes simply from living our element, being exactly who we are, and doing the things we love to do.

I've gone through years of comparing our dream to other families dreams. Questioning: is this a good dream? Is the family farm dream more noble?

I've had seasons of near crippling insecurity when I compared my work - my writing, coaching, and encouraging - to other women working online.

What I've found is that comparing my work and our family dreams is not in the slightest bit useful, nor does it bring any joy into my life. It does the opposite in fact.

What does bring me joy and happiness is identifying what truly matters to me (our values), creating a life vision and making definitive goals based on those values, and then living it with full gusto, to the max.

That's in large part what our Appalachian Trail adventure and accompanying video project is about. It's about identifying our family element (or elements) and then going for it.

The more I pursue this type of living - to thine own self be true - the more confident I become and daresay, the more happy.

To be sure, there are seasons of discomfort, stress, and struggle. Emergencies, crises, transitions, and the month of March. But living my life to the full - making the most of today, using my gifts, nurturing our dreams - this type of living makes me happy.

Have you identified when you feel in your element? Hint: look for the moments of joy and happiness in your day.

Here's a few of mine: I am in my element when I am... outdoors with my family, organizing our home, cooking soup (yes soup), communicating freedom and joy into someone's life, working in a complimentary fashion with my husband, meeting new people, sharing beauty, spreading a feast of inspiring ideas and resources for my at-home learners, surrounded by nature, reading good books, being a resource person and mentor for other homeschoolers...

When are you in your element?

Is there a way you can live more of those moments? How can you plan for and fit more of those elements into your daily life?

How can you strategize to string these moments and activities together so that your days, weeks, and months are lived according to your values and dreams?

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